Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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