I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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