We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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