soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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