I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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