Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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