I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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