every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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