New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
