Just fell off a train. Bad.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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