Can Purell be used as lube?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
