Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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