I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
