Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
