Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
