ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
