She's JV to your varsity
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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