Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
