and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
