Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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