I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
