Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
