nut hugger
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
