I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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