direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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