Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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