just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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