we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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