she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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