he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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