i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
