I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're a waste of cheezeits
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
