It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
