dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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