No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
