Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
