trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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