Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
