I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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