We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
