Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
