Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
