Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
