69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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