I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
