trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've blown a few things in my day
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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