And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
