Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
