OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
