A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
