I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
