my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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