So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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