We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
