Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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