the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
The struggles of a small town man whore
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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